Jy is myne

26 May 2019 | Columns

Yolanda Nel

Jesaja 49:16: Ek het jou naam in my handpalms gegraveer . . .

“Hoe bond jy met jou baba as jy nie die geslag weet nie?” word ek die afgelope paar maande sonder ophou gevra.

“Dit maak die band tussen jou en jou baba soveel sterker as jy weet wat jy gaan kry en jy kan die kind van die begin af op sy of haar naam noem,” verduidelik hulle.

Op grond van daardie verduideliking moet nie een van ons 'n goeie band met ons ma's hê of hulle met hulle ma's nie, bloot omdat hulle nie destyds die geslag kon uitvind nie.

Ek word verder gebombardeer met “jy kan nie mooi blou of pienk goedjies koop nie. Watter kleur maak jy jou babakamer? Hoe beplan jy?”

Is dit wat ons lewens geword het? Met soveel tegnologie tot ons beskikking, móét ons alles onmiddellik weet. Kan ons nie meer uitsien na verrassings nie? Is hierdie nie die grootste geskenk ooit nie?

Moet my nie verkeerd verstaan nie, indien jy wil uitvind wat die geslag van jou baba is, gaan ek saam met jou opgewonde raak terwyl ons kolwyntjies hap om te sien of die binnekant pienk of blou is.

Ek bond met my baba net soos enige ander ma met haar ongebore kinders bond. Want hierdie baba groei binne-in my. En hou my wakker in die nanag met skoppe wat karate-kampioene sal laat bloos, wanneer ek veel eerder sou wou slaap. Hierdie baba hoor my stem en hartklop en dit bring vertroosting, of hy 'n seuntjie of sy 'n dogtertjie is.

Ek sal jok as ek sê ek is nie nuuskierig nie. Daar was tye wat ek gebrand het om te weet. Maar dan word daai yskoue jelly gespuit en die magic wand gly so oor my pens en dan sien jy 'n hartklop. En 'n hand vryf oor sy of haar oë, asof ons die baba nou net wakker gemaak het. En dan maak dit nie saak of dit 'n sy of 'n hy is nie. Ek vind berusting in die feit dat hierdie lyfie myne is, ongeag die geslag.

Die besluite wat ek tot dusver geneem het, hou ook glad nie verband met geslag nie. Natuurlik het ek beplan. Die karstoeltjie staan al in die motor, die wieggie lyk spoggerig, die doeke staan gereed en die baba-monitor is ge-charge. Doeke ruil, borsvoed en aan die slaap sus, bly vir my maar presies dieselfde ding - of jy nou 'n dogtertjie of 'n seuntjie het. Die kamer is mint-groen geverf en al sou ek ook die geslag weet, sou niks so-by-so pienk of blou gewees het nie.

Ek het nie vooropgestelde idees dat my dogtertjie moet klavier speel en in haar ma se joernalistiekvoetspore moet volg nie. My seun hoef nie rugby of sokker te speel nie, en as hy eendag 'n dokter of 'n plaasboer wil word, gaan ek nie in sy pad staan nie.

My wens is dat my kind weet ons wou hom of haar gehad het. Hierdie was aspris en nie per ongeluk nie. Hierdie kind is reeds geliefd. En dis genoeg.

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