Liewe Yolanda

31 March 2019 | Columns

Yolanda Nel

Ek skryf vir jou hierdie brief voor jou lewe vir altyd verander, voor ’n klein mensie jou hele menswens gaan beïnvloed.

In ’n mate het jou lewe reeds die afgelope paar maande ’n ander rigtig ingeslaan. Oggende bestaan al lankal nie meer uit vier bekers koffie nie. Jy het al gewoond geraak aan decaf. Jou stywe rokke hang netjies in ’n ander kas – ’n kas wat nie meer oopgemaak word nie. Jy het jou hakskoene reeds verruil vir regte pregnancy sandale. Maar dit pla jou nie, want met jou opgeswelde voete verdien jy ’n breek.

Oor nog ’n paar maande gaan dinge nog meer verander. Dinge waaroor jy nou nog nie wonder nie, want jy het nie ’n benul van wat kom nie. Want nie al die boeke in die wêreld of die raad van al die oumas gaan jou voorberei as daai klein mensie eers saam met jou huis toe kom nie.

Terwyl jy opgewonde is oor die nuwe fase in jou lewe, vra ek dat jy nie van jou vergeet nie. Ek is nog hier, ’n 20’s weergawe van jouself. Die een met ’n honderd drome wat nou ’n realiteit word. Maar moenie van die ander 99 vergeet nie.

Mag jy nooit te besig word vir jouself nie. Gaan doen al die dinge wat jy nog wou doen. Begin jou doktorsgraad, al vat dit jou sewe jaar. Spaar al die sente wat jy kan en gaan op ’n onvergeetlike tweede wittebrood. Gaan loop ’n ander land se strate plat tot jou voete blase het.

En as jy terugkom, gaan doen dit weer.

Gaan haal jou gunsteling rok uit die kas in die ander kamer (die een van Italië) en maak dit jou doelwit om weer daarin te pas. Of dit nou ses maande of ses jaar neem.

Moenie die waarde van ’n sny koek in die bad onderskat nie. ’n Dekade gelede het dit wondere verrig.

Moenie te veel van jouself in hierdie proses verloor nie. Jy mag pienk hare hê. En as jou kind eendag hardop daaroor wonder, leer hom of haar dat daar genoeg plek op hierdie aarde is vir verskillende soorte mense. Al is hulle anders.

Moet asseblief nooit omverskoning vra vir wie jy is nie. Net jy is gekies om hierdie kind se mamma te wees. En al weet jy nie alles nie en al sukkel jy, weet jy die beste.

Weet dat die nagte sonder slaap nie vir ewig aanhou nie. Dalk ’n paar jaar, maar nie vir altyd nie. Onthou dat daardie lyfie vir net ’n kort rukkie so klein gaan wees. Koester dit. Hou hom of haar warm teen jou lyf af, al tap die sweet jou van die hitte af. Want ook hierdie fase hou nie vir altyd nie.

Neem 20 minute elke dag net vir jouself. Gaan vat ’n lekker lang, warm stort sonder om skuldig te voel. Lê langer in die bed en lees daai boek wat stof opgaar. Eet Nutella uit die houer. Niemand kyk nie.

En as dinge te veel word en die trane loop meer gereeld as wat daar dae in die week is, bel Hammelie.

En onthou, ek is altyd hier, met my groot hoop earrings en te veel ringe aan my vingers, met my gekleurde hare en my loud klere. Gaan grawe in jou kas, daar ís stukkies van my gebêre.

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