The big C

24 September 2018 | Columns

Julienne van Rooyen

I was raised not to use the word hate, but I really hate you.

You robbed me of someone very special and she cannot ever be replaced. You took away the chance for her to see me finish school, get married, and to meet my children. She will not be around to teach them all the important things that she always tried to teach her grandchildren.

They will not be able to sit at the kitchen table and watch her while she is baking, listening to beautiful stories and being able to learn all the valuable lessons in life that she tried to teach us. These are things that our generation does not teach our children any longer. A generation has gone and with it all its history, leaving us with a gap in our lives that cannot be filled again.

She was special and loving and kind and the glue that held everyone in our family together. If I could see her again I would ask for her forgiveness. I needed to be with her in the end, but seeing her pain and suffering was just more than I could take.

I would also have taken the time to appreciate her more and not ever, even for one second, have taken for granted what an absolute blessing she was in all of our lives. I would have thanked her for always seeing the good in me and always having something positive to say. She always made time for us, and she constantly built us up in a world that can so easily break you down.

She’s gone now. All I can hope is that I am living a life she can be proud of. There’s not one day that we don’t miss her, but you learn to live with the pain.

Ever so often there will be an unexpected memory that pops up of her. It may be the smell of a perfume that reminds me of her, or seeing my children and being transported to a time in my life when I was fortunate enough to still have a grandmother. I look into my son’s green eyes and I remember looking into the same shade of color in her eyes and I am so thankful that a piece of her has been passed on to him.

After more than a decade, I still miss her. I know that her daughters miss her too, and most importantly my grandfather misses her.

It’s all your fault as you manage to so easily take away countless lives and cause so much suffering in this world. You are a part of us and could be in our throat, in our skin, or in our organs. You claim so many victims each and every day, robbing children of a chance at life, ripping countless families and marriages apart. You leave us living in fear and with emptiness in our lives.

One day I pray that someone will figure out how to destroy you and that you will become a distant hurtful memory.

But until then, I really do hate you.

Similar News


As die meerminne verdwyn

1 month - 17 December 2018 | Columns

Yolanda Nel - “Hardloop die see in met jou jeans aan, kyk uit vir 'n meermin en deel in gesprekke oor al die mooi plekke...

Alles met 'n knippie sout

1 month - 10 December 2018 | Columns

Yolanda Nel - Almal weet gewoonlik baie meer as jy. Hoe weet ek dit? Want hulle vertel my elke kans wat hulle kan, dat dit...

Met 'n tikkie sout

1 month - 08 December 2018 | Columns

Almal weet gewoonlik baie meer as jy. Hoe weet ek dit? Want hulle vertel my elke kans wat hulle kan, dat dit waarmee ek besig...

The miracle of Wilbur

2 months ago - 19 November 2018 | Columns

Yanna Smith There was no way I knew how much 10 January 2017 would change my life. That was the day I rescued a calf,...

Ek groet jou Lindie

2 months ago - 12 November 2018 | Columns

Yolanda Nel - Wanneer jy iemand groet, dink jy mos nie dis die laaste keer wat jy daardie persoon gaan sien nie. Ek groet jou...

The world of weird news

2 months ago - 05 November 2018 | Columns

In the newsroom we're confronted by a variety of stories every day. Some heart-wrenching, some uplifting, and some downright weird.Earlier this year I wrote a...

Bou 'n brug

2 months ago - 29 October 2018 | Columns

Yolanda Nel - Toe ons jonger was en 'n probleem ondervind het, het almal baie sarkasties toegesnou, “bou 'n brug en kom daaroor”.In die werkplek...

Bou 'n brug

2 months ago - 26 October 2018 | Columns

Toe ons jonger was en 'n probleem ondervind het, het almal baie sarkasties toegesnou, “bou 'n brug en kom daaroor”.In die werkplek moet ons gereeld...

Wie's jou sidekick?

3 months ago - 15 October 2018 | Columns

Yolanda Nel - Ek kan onthou toe ek 12 jaar oud was, het ek 'n toespraak by die Sinode gelewer. Ek moes praat oor die...

The joy of growing old

3 months ago - 08 October 2018 | Columns

Julienne van RooyenAfter another year there’s an extra wrinkle staring back at me in the mirror and things are going downhill at a relatively fast...

Latest News

Watertoevoer bly 'n uitdaging

20 hours ago | Infrastructure

Op Groot Aub sê inwoners hulle gaan soms dae lank sonder water.Tydens 'n onlangse onderhoud met Nampa, het inwoners van die ne-dersetting wat sowat 45km...

Women at Work trains nannies

20 hours ago | Education

A number of women from Farm Skoonheid near Gobabis recently received training to become nannies to better their knowledge and skills to take care of...

Just enough better than more

20 hours ago | Banking

As the economy begins to improve, entrepreneurs will find greater confidence to establish SMEs, while existing SMEs will seek finance to grow, says Jerome Mutumba,...

Artist group struts their stuff

20 hours ago | Art and Entertainment

A group exhibition by the Ileni Pamwe Project of Visual Artists opened at the Omba Gallery in the capital last week.The exhibition showcases mixed media...

Shotgun at the Warehouse

20 hours ago | Art and Entertainment

Indie-folk singer and songwriter Shotgun Tori makes a Namibian comeback with her tour Where We Left It Off at the Warehouse Theatre.Blending folk, rockabilly, country...

Life in full colour

20 hours ago | Art and Entertainment

Running at the National Art Gallery in the capital until 16 February, is Of the Greatness of Life, a solo exhibition by Dr Helmut Lauschke.Consisting...

Events calendar

20 hours ago | Art and Entertainment

Currently running• Art Come Together, an exhibition of the results from art workshops in the Khomas, Kavango East, Oshana and Hardap regions at the National...

A new you in the...

20 hours ago | People

If you're looking for a rebrand in terms of your image, reputation, lifestyle or even habits but you're finding it hard to start, it might...

Support for soccer centre

20 hours ago | Society

The Namibia Football Association (NFA) Girls Centre last week received 18 single beds and bedding worth N$75 000 from the Deutsche Gesellschaft für Internationale Zusammenarbeit...

Load More